Spin – conquering the final gym fear.
In my quest to lose weight and get healthy, I have spent hours at the gym. Mind you, the consistency these days is lacking, but long story short, I know my way around cardio and weight rooms. I have stepped, kicked, stretched through group exercise classes. I have free-weighted, circuit-trained, trekked, ellipticaled, mastered the stairs, and spent more hours with physical trainers than I can count. But there is one area of the gym I have always feared.
Spin class.
No matter the city, the gym, the time of day… spin class has always scared the beejezus out of me. There is something about the way that everyone knows what they are doing with these machines that have knobs and levers. They are all so… focused. Full of intent.
Recently, I needed something new. I had rejoined a gym and needed to find something to throw my energy into. I needed accountability. But most of all, I needed a class that worked with my schedule.
So a friend and I both committed to a spin class.
Walking in the very first morning was incredibly scary. I wanted to back out. But I had made a commitment with a friend (and it would only be after the class that I would find out she also wanted to back out).
With the help of an overly perky instructor, I adjusted the bike. I then mounted the bike. And 45 minutes later, I was more than ready to get off that bike.
However, I had discovered something about myself. I had discovered that spin was no scarier than any other part of the gym. That when I faced my fear, I could conquer something new. And, I never thought I would say this, enjoy it.
Spin class offers something that no other part of the gym offers. It allows you to work at your own resistance, your own pace, without anyone knowing what level you are working on. For those of you who self-compare, like I tend to do, you can’t! All you can do it focus on yourself. And that forced focus is what I needed to ensure I was keeping proper form, and not just competing against my peers. The competitor within now could only focus on myself.
I have been going to spin classes on a regular basis now for several months. I am still not a spin guru. I don’t have the magical clip spin shoes. I don’t go on bike rides in the mountains on weekend. But I can spin. The fear has been conquered.
The truth of the matter is.
A reflection post.
Today I stood outside in the sun for over four hours. I stood and cheered as thousands of runners raced past. It was an emotional morning. I cheered for runners at the beginning of the journey, near the middle, and near the end. I got to see runners pumped, fledgling, and defeated. I saw them triumph, I saw their pain.
In 2009, I barely made it to the finish line of this race. I had fallen down a flight of stairs about six weeks prior to the race, not that I was in peak physical performance before then, and hurt myself. This was not my first injury, and it would not be my last. However, there was something inside of me that kept me going.
When I reached mile 8 of this race, I was near tears. By mile 9, I was looking for a medic. I sat, I iced my back, and then with ice wrapped to my back with plastic wrap, I walked. The last three miles were some of the slowest and most painful in my life. I cried. I felt alone. And I was so determined to finish what I had started.
Before I got to the finish line, I saw a woman behind me. She waved me down. She said she had been following me for the last couple of miles. That she had wanted to give up but she saw me and she knew if I could do it, so could she. We both attempted to run the last few feet to the finish. We wanted to finish strong.
December of 2009, I completed my second half. I felt strong. I was faster. I wasn’t able to run the full race but even walking, I was proud. I shaved 30 minutes off my time. I knew I was only going to get stronger.
One week later I injured my leg. I spent 2010 trying to recover from this non-running injury (if you are reading this, get your vitamin D levels checked, just trust me). I was planning on running a marathon in October where there was also to be a wedding. Then I planned on walking that marathon. And finally, on doctor’s orders, I was sidelined and cheered. I was happy to be there, but frustrated because I felt like there was more I could have done.
2011 brought on a year of discovery. Injuries from the past were beginning to heal but I had managed to put on so much weight from lack of activity and fear of injury, that becoming active again was difficult. I had lost motivation. I wasn’t eating right, I wasn’t trying to become healthier. I signed up for a half-marathon, with the hope that this would motivate me to get active. To try to recapture what I had felt two years earlier. But internal medical struggles, and my own nonchalance about my health kept me from training properly and fueling per my medical needs.
I started that race strong. But before I had even hit the 5k mark, my stomach was screaming. And as the race went on, I searched for a way to catch a ride back. By the 6th mile, I was crouched on the sidelines, trying not to give up.
After hobbling two more miles, and taking a number of breaks, my stomach finally felt better, but now old structural injuries were flaring because I had been compensating for the digestive pain. However, at this point I wasn’t going to quit. I hobbled through freezing rain and tears to the finish line. I finished and there wasn’t anyone left there to cheer for me. But I finished.
So today, I stayed. I stayed until the vehicle escorting the last three participants passed me. I cheered and I screamed. I knew the frustration in the eyes of those who had started strong and finished. I celebrated the triumph of their completion. I hope they will be able to celebrate it as well.
I am just two months away from that same race that was both my triumph and my defeat. I signed up again because I knew I needed to prove to myself that I can finish strong. But I haven’t done a single training run. I have been taking cardio classes to build my stamina, but my feet and back cry from all of the weight I have put on. I am constantly struggling between motivation and defeat.
It’s hard to get back on the horse. It’s incredibly hard to know what it was like to fly, and feel like you can barely crawl. This year, I may not participate in the race. If I am not ready, I will not go. But today motivated me to try. Because if the people crossing the finish line can do it, then dammit, so can I.
One week in, three weeks to go. A reflection.
It has been one week since I committed to the Project GET HEALTHY challenge. And while I have attempted to follow all three of my daily tasks, I am figuring out that I still need to find a happy balance between socializing and getting healthy.
I also realize that taking up a challenge when my life has little structure makes it difficult to maintain from day to day. Without a scheduled wake-up or bedtime, I am free floating (and enjoying it). However, with the start of the school year, this is guaranteed to change.
So I have attempted to stay active and eat more vegetables. I tracked everything until social events overtook my weekend. And then the foods I ate were no longer ones my body agreed with and my activity stalled as I have been laid up with awful stomach pains.
Life is a learning process and I will just keep taking notes through the journey.
Project GET HEALTHY
It’s been a long year. A crazy year. A FABULOUS year.
A lot of amazing things have happened.
However in the process of this amazingness, something has slipped out of sight. And out of sight is out of mind as the old adage goes.
My health hasn’t been the focus for months. I haven’t cooked for myself in ages nor have I logged what I have eaten or made a concerted effort to be active.
However, as life changes and time opens up, it as though someone was reading my mind when a challenge appeared over my Facebook feed. Thanks to Eating Rules for sharing the link to Social Butterfly Guy‘s 28-day Project GET HEALTHY.
Starting tomorrow for the next 28 days, I have three goals:
1. Track my meals daily
2. Get 20 minutes of activity in 6 days a week.
3. Eat more vegetables
I’ll be tracking using MyFitnessPal but will also stop by here, my ignored blog, to share thoughts as I can. With the start of school fast approaching, it will definitely be a challenge. But based on everything that has happened in 2012 thus far, I am ready for it!
Production versus Consumption. Chicken? or Egg?
As per usual, this isn’t meant to be a topic analysis. Just some quick thoughts when I read the 2012 NCFL topic this morning.
Resolved: Increasing US energy production should take precedence over protecting the environment.
First, I think that the question has to be answered as to what type of energy production that needs to be increased. It would be hard to argue that the US isn’t in need of increased energy with an increase in population. Especially since the topic doesn’t say you get to increase conservation efforts if you vote Con.
Obviously the debate wants to be focused on drilling and fracking for oil and building up nuclear plants, both controversial but known sources of energy. Perhaps coal will also be debated. However, I think that a good Pro team would not limit themselves to these sources. In fact, I would keep all energy sources in mind when framing the case and instead shift the burden to the neg to show that in general, over-protection of the environment is stopping energy development. I don’t know if this is true outside of these primary energy production means.
In a lot of ways, I think this is going to be a very circular debate. Almost a “chicken or egg” line of argument. Those on the Pro will say we can’t have productivity and economic growth/stability without internal energy production while those on the Con will contend we need to focus on creating energy efficient products and lifestyles in order to have economic growth/stability. My head hurts just thinking about it.
Here are some interesting articles that may, or may not, be useful:
Draw a line for the judge: Current debates and why judges are intervening.
As I judge debates on the April PF topic (Resolved: State mandated administration of childhood vaccinations is justified.), I am noticing a common and disturbing set of trends. And these trends are allowing both sides to “win” their side of the debate while in the end leaving it entirely up to the judge to pick what side they like best.
1. Debaters use generic philosophical jargon without understanding the philosophy.
This is problematic for several reasons. First, they aren’t able to fully articulate their own arguments so they are in line with the philosophical view they use to justify, or weigh, their side of the round. This leads to arguments that contradict each other within a case.
Second, because they learn the generic wikipedia level of the philosophical viewpoints, they also don’t understand or see the contradictions their opponents make. Nor are they able to address the arguments from a philosophical view point. Why use these weighing mechanisms and justifications if you can’t really use them?
Ultimately, the judge has two competing, underdeveloped frameworks, with arguments that contradict all over the flow. Super useful in making a decision, right?
2. Lacking a bright line.
This is probably the most frustrating part of the debates I have seen. Both sides fail to show when mandates cause their impacts to happen without the impacts of the other side happening. If mandates cause a loss of autonomy, why doesn’t bans on doing drugs? Where is the line that is drawn between these two regulations? And on the opposite side, why does a government protecting people stop at mandates on vaccines? Why can’t they also mandate what job field we go into so the nation fills every open job? Where does regulation stop and free will begin?
Debaters who lack a bright line are asking the judge to draw one for them. Debaters should hold that pen… don’t give us artistic freedom on the ballot…
3. Missing the forest for the trees.
One of the problems with Public Forum in general, but also true on this topic, is that debaters are attempting to get too line-by-line and run too many sub-points. This leads to underdevelopment, quick pace, and dropped comparative analysis due to time. On this topic, debaters are getting too specific on public opinion polls and specifics on what a mandate would look like rather than discuss the larger questions of the resolution. C’mon folks… you only have 33 minutes!
So in the end of the round we as the judges have a bunch of competing arguments that we get to weigh. What do we think is most important? Or in some cases, what did we understand more clearly? A case that looks at the forest and links the couple highlighted trees to the forest will win almost every time when competing against a team talking about every individual tree. But when everyone is looking at individual trees… well it’s like taking the extended family out shopping for the perfect Christmas tree! No one walks away happy.
Ultimately, watching these debates continues to cause me to question where is PF, what is it’s purpose, and where is it going. But more on that later.
Pick one thing.
It’s true. I haven’t blogged in forever. And I really don’t have an excuse. I have LOTS of excuses.
The truth is that I am finding it very hard to manage everything. Healthy eating, exercise, work, planning a wedding, and finding time to relax. From tournaments almost every weekend to the siren call of happy hour specials pulling me away from the fresh veggies in the kitchen.
Lately I have felt like a juggler, trying to keep everything in the air without dropping any of the balls. In the process I have minimized my healthy eating, barely work out, and am tired all the time.
So what’s a girl to do? Life isn’t slowing down any time soon. Lots of post-season tournaments and debate camps to work and the wedding is less than four months away.
However, I have been slowly taking back control. I am trying to avoid being superwoman. I have declined plans. Simplified my diet. And am forcing myself to stop comparing myself to those people who seem to have perfect lives.
Finally, rather than set big goals, I am picking one thing and focusing on it. Trying to complete a task before beginning the next one. Focusing on the single stroke and not the final picture.
It’s tough. But I think it’s going to work.
Chewing on Thoughts about Juicing
Fruit. Vegetables. Juice. Juicing. Liquid gold. Cleansing. Fasting.
I recently read an article in one of those checkstand magazines about dropping weight and cleansing your body through a two-day juice fast. It wasn’t your typical 300-calorie fast but included whole avocado in the mix. It sounded sane. And I did feel like my body needed a good cleanse.
Yesterday I embarked. Because how better to start the new year than an all-liquid diet?
I dutifully drank my smoothies, teas, waters, and juices. However something was missing. I wasn’t hungry physically but my body was yearning.
I told myself the yearning was detox. My body crying out for the bad. That I should feel awesome by not giving in. I was AWESOME.
But something was missing. And yes my body did want those processed foods it had gotten to experience over the holidays. But that wasn’t it. It was something else.
So I poured myself a bowl of kale miso stew. Barely any calories. Besides the miso and spices, it was just broth and vegetables. And since vegetable broths were allowed on the cleanse, and vegetables were juiced and blended, I figured it was the same thing.
With one exception.
As I chewed through the thick kale in the stew, the whimpers from deep within were calmed. I began to truly feel satisfied. Satiated. Happy.
It turns out, the process of chewing my food. That’s what I was missing.
This morning, instead of juicing and blending, I chewed. I may still juice some of my foods, but I realize that while I may get a lot of benefit out of a cleanse, I won’t feel satisfied. And as morbid as it seems, I want to be satisfied with my choices each day. Because while I may eat healthy to stretch my time here on Earth out as long as possible, the truth is that we don’t know how long we have. So daily satisfaction is crucial.
That’s something to chew on.
The Healthy Academic 