Traveling through life with a timer and sneakers

Logistics

Creating Community to Stay Supported

Sometimes when I am home alone, I have an urge to eat. I might not even be hungry but I want something to fill a void. This is a conscious battle I have fought for a long time, and during my Phase One Decision Free experience, I found success in avoiding boredom eating by hitting the HMR Diet online message boards. Talking with other people, reading about their success and struggles, and reading through recipes they had tried was all very motivating and kept me out of the kitchen.

When I transitioned to Phase Two, I found other supportive venues, both online and in the real world. However I have discovered when going back into a Phase One box, how they aren’t as successful in helping me because the suggestions and recipes aren’t supportive of the behaviors I am trying to practice.

I recently discovered the format of the HMR Program “boards” has changed more to discussion threads, and a sense of community has been lost for me. It’s still an awesome resource for referencing, but it lacks some of the back and forth chatter I remember.

There are a couple of unofficial groups I have found on Facebook for HMR, but when people of all stages from Decision Free to Phase Two are hanging out together, the suggestions and advice and photos don’t always support my Phase One behaviors either.

So after talking with a couple of other people who felt the same way, I created two unofficial HMR groups on Facebook and I wanted to share them here in case anyone else is looking for support and trying to practice Environmental Control.

These groups are closed – which means you can find them in searches but the posts are only visible to group members. You are invited to join one or both if you are interested, just please be respectful of the spaces being created. There are also other fabulous mixed program groups on Facebook if you are looking for support in other stages or variations of HMR’s programs!

Unofficial HMR Diet Program – Decision Free Community (Please note that this group practices *strict* environmental control – no pictures of food other than HMR products are allowed – fruit and veggie posts are totally welcome in the Healthy Solutions community)

Unofficial HMR Diet Program – Healthy Solutions Community (This group welcomes fruit and veggie posts! However we still ask that you refrain from posting food outside the Healthy Solutions box – so just keep it to the produce, HMR products, and approved condiments)

While I openly recognize that eventually we will all have to transition to Phase Two and be exposed to the outside world, I also support having safe spaces where we can seek support and not worry about those temptations and decisions. I want to be able to open the Facebook Groups app, and just open my HMR support group and not be overwhelmed with GAP foods.

Final note – since these are supposed to be communities, I’d love some admin or moderator help. I started them after chatting with a few folks who also expressed needs for these groups, but I don’t want to run the show 🙂 So if you join a group and like the vibe and want to help, all hands are welcome to build these safe spaces!

Advertisement

Training to run a marathon did not make me fat

I am training for a marathon. And I am gaining weight. But marathon training didn’t cause this to happen. And I have been thinking a lot about this possible connection as I prepare to toe the start line of the New York City Marathon on November 6.

Let’s examine the facts. Which is going to involve talking about running for a bit. But if you are here for the self-discovery and discussion of weight gain, don’t worry, that will be coming in a little while.

I began training to run the Portland Marathon starting in the summer of 2015. I ended up with a DNS (did not start) after dealing with some injuries late in the summer. Rested. Recovered.

I started training for the Little Rock Marathon in October of 2015. I ended up getting different injuries but finishing the marathon. Albeit with time goals thrown out the window.

And two days after Little Rock in March of 2016, I confirmed I would be training for New York. But after not recovery properly from Little Rock, I have spent a large amount of time in physical therapy with yet another injury (shockingly these are all linked to some genetic issues, not shockingly they are all uniquely different injuries). However, I do have adjusted time goals. But ultimately I want to enjoy what I am openly acknowledging may be my last marathon, at least for a couple of years.

So essentially, for the last 17 or so months, I have been in some stage of marathon training or recovery. And while I haven’t stepped on the scale in a couple of weeks (more on that later) – I know I have gained about 20-30 pounds since May 31, 2015. But to be more specific – I gained 5-7 pounds in the summer of 2015, lost 14 pounds while I was injured and not running at all, gained 17 pounds during my training for Little Rock, struggled for awhile in recovery after (gaining another 7 pounds), and then losing 14 pounds before starting training for New York. So (and I am not the best at math), when I started training for New York, I was about 5 pounds heavier than when I started training for Portland the previous summer. But that doesn’t change the fact that the last time I stepped on the scale, I was 16 pounds heavier than I was when I started training for this marathon.

Going into marathon training, I knew many people had struggled with weight gain. From talking to my health coach, I knew this was something I would need to be mindful about. And so I went and did some research. HOLY MOLY don’t even try Googling weight gain and marathon training. SO MUCH HAS BEEN WRITTEN!

But more specifically, so much is contradictory. The FIRST article I opened (which I just found again near the top of the search page) had 6 reasons people gain weight and several of those reasons literally contradict each other! From being too strict about food to overeating to underfueling during the running to overfueling during the run; the information is endless and quite frankly overwhelming.

However, I realize after 17 months of training/recovering… that marathon training didn’t make me gain weight. I have just allowed it to serve as a mask, or as an excuse for struggles I have battled my whole life.

Marathon-training meant focusing on specific training goals with a specific training plan. A hyper-managed schedule to weave into my already full plate. But luckily, what it really just meant was rearranging my fitness schedule, because I learned after a couple of minor injuries, that I couldn’t add training on top of everything else I was doing.

So in reality, I didn’t increase my physical activity too much over the course of a week. But I did shift my mindset and I began more single-sport training. Which meant I wasn’t getting the same level of intensity 5 days a week, but was having some high intensity days and some much lower days. I have since realized that this threw my use of physical activity as a form of stress management out the window and I found food again as a form of stress relief, a habit I had mostly managed to eliminate, but did not realize had snuck back into my life until recently.

I also began to use the marathon as my excuse, or crutch, for more than just taking a rest day. And as I think about this, I realize that we all do this, even if we aren’t training for a marathon. For example, last year I struggled with stress in a new position at work, and people told me it would be understandable if I gained weight because I “had an excuse” – but while I had new challenges in my job, I also knew that it was just different struggles, and it wasn’t an excuse to eat. But I let marathon training be that excuse because I knew it had a timeframe and I could just start working on weight management after the race.

Finally, I realize now that I just didn’t have a maintainable weight of eating for weight management in place prior to starting marathon training. And long runs on Sunday took the place of meal preparation and planning. And the socialization events associated with training took away the desire to do the meal prep and planning. And because I was now constantly thinking about running, about injury prevention, about travel planning, about being stressed because I couldn’t go work out that afternoon because I had a long run in the morning, and at that point something just had to give.

For those of you who have followed my health and fitness story for awhile, you will realize I have struggled with this balance before. And I know this about myself. But I let the marathon mask this, and managed to put myself on the back burner at the same time I was supposedly focusing on myself.

I have some plans in mind that I look forward to sharing soon about how I will be working to lose this weight while finding a way to better manage it long term. I know I will always struggle with my weight. I will continue to gain and to lose (hopefully with a lot less gaining in the future). I will continue to have to confront myself and figure out the trigger of the moment and will have to reframe.

Right now, I will continue to make healthier choices. I am not going to focus on losing weight until after the marathon because that’s a week and a half away and I am not going to add the additional stress to myself right now because I would be setting myself up for failure. But you should expect there will be a number of blogs in the coming weeks both about the marathon, but also confronting the scale, and starting the process to lose the weight I have gained. I look forward to sharing more, but for now I am off to my weekly physical therapy appointment!

 


Stress Management and Weight Management – what is in your toolbox?

I have been sitting on this post for about a week. I wrote it in my head and then rewrote it about 60 more times before I finally opened up my computer and started writing. So what you are getting now is a stream of conscious thought that has been overthought. And that’s about where I am with this topic right now.

I had a very stressful series of incidents occur recently in my life. Without going into detail, I will leave it as one of the more stressful moments in recent history. And now, in the aftermath of the initial fallout, I am left reflecting on what I did well and where I need to continue to work on my stress management strategies.

First, a good practice, is that I exercised. A LOT. I worked out every day for at least an hour and on top of that took long hikes several days with friends. This physical activity helped me to relieve a lot of the physical anxiety I was feeling about the events that had unfolded. For an hour, I could just run, bike, row, kick, jump, sing loudly to music and leave my stress at the gym door.

I also tried to ensure I met my minimum intake of vegetables and fruit each day. I didn’t alway make it. But I kept it in the front of my mind and would opt for produce if it was available and in front of me.

But then there was the bad. And if you have been reading my posts for awhile, you can guess where I am going with this. I ate and drank just about everything in front of me after consuming that produce. I didn’t shovel food nonstop, but I did not make conscious choices about what I ate or when I ate it. I ate to comfort myself from the emotional and mental stress that I was facing. I would go out with friends to avoid facing the stress and would drink (in mostly restrained quantities) but this loosened my inhibitions which resulted in even less restraint about food choices. And it was a holiday week which meant those bad choices were everywhere around me.

I didn’t stop to think. I didn’t stop to evaluate how those food choices would impact my weight management. I didn’t consciously, in most cases, even realize I was making decisions about food. And now in hindsight, I can see where I didn’t use my other tools to manage my emotional and mental stress.

I am trying to regroup. I have meal plans and have food prepped. I am preplanning in order to reduce my choices about food. Which will help me continue to work through the current stress factors in my life. But I want to continue to build my stress management toolbox. And I think there are some pretty awesome people reading my ramblings. So I am throwing it out to you.

If you are still reading this post, please take one minute to reply. Share one way you manage stress. Or one way you combat emotional eating. What’s in your Stress Management/Weight Management toolbox?


Twitter Lesson Learned

One of the lessons I learned this weekend via tweets from another session was that I should set time limits on my social media. So I am giving myself one hour to tweet. During that time I can also play on Facebook. And that’s it! I can divide it up into up to three segments during the day. Today it worked out pretty well, despite the notifications popping up on my phone and in my email. During the tournaments I might let this rule slide but I need to allow myself to unplug from the constant stream of information.

Now to figure out rules to limit television and get me on my feet more! Suggestions?


The Joys of Change or How We Entertained 27 Teens

So today we were supposed to go into Chicago to explore. The students were excited about the opportunity. However, with so many of our chaperones needing to fly home last night to make it back in time for Parent-Teacher Conferences (which the coaching staff misses because the tournament doesn’t finish until tonight for some participants), we were going to have to do multiple shuttle runs to the commuter train station and then would be walking all over the city.

Mother Nature was not a fan of this idea. The rain, thunder, and lightening woke us up long before our planned meeting time and the two of us taking the kids on this expedition needed to change up plans and fast. Our third coach was already at the tournament, so anything we did with our students, it couldn’t be far and it couldn’t be expensive.

So I hopped on Yelp and got to work. I love using Yelp to find food options but it also worked in this case for entertainment. We quickly found a bowling alley/arcade nearby and a movie theatre just a couple blocks from that. So we took the kids to the bowling alley where they had inter-squad challenges and when they got bored they wandered into the arcade or got to play pool with each other. The onto the movie theatre for two and a half hours of Harry Potter. Not quite the day we had planned but one the students hopefully enjoyed.