Traveling through life with a timer and sneakers


Recap of S.H.E. 365 5k at Woodbridge Winery


When I find something I love doing, I want to share it with everyone so they can also enjoy it. As the 5k bug bit me, I knew I needed to share. I convinced my mom in the early Spring months that if I found a 5k in her area that she could walk, we could do it together. So I went in search of something fun!

I must be a good researcher because I found what has so far been one of my favorite races ever, and perfect for a first-time 5k participant like my mom.

The SHE 365 5k was held in Lodi, California on July 12, 2014 and it was in it’s second year of being held. The female-focused race was a tad pricier than some I have seen (we paid $45 several months in advance) however it is a drop in the bucket compared to many of the giant 5ks I have seen (Diva’s and Disney – looking at you!). And you TOTALLY get your money’s worth at the SHE 365!

Let’s start with the swag – you get a female-cut tech shirt, an awesome headband and shoelaces with the race logo, a medal, a mimosa in a take-home stemless champagne glass, two full-size Lindt gourmet chocolate bars, not to mention fresh fruit and mini cupcakes at the finish party (and additional discounted wine-based cocktails to celebrate!).

I drove down to Lodi from San Jose on the morning of the race where I picked up my mom and her friend Jene. Neither of them had participated in a 5k before but both had been training hard to walk the distance with a goal of finishing in under an hour.

We arrived at the winery at the start of on-site packet pick-up (they had options to pick up earlier but since I lived out of town I really appreciated the day-of option!) to find plenty of parking, signage, and friendly volunteers. We collected out bibs (the rest of the swag was available after finishing), and began our pre-race preparations. At first, we saw only two portapotties – which I worried would be an issue but eventually bathrooms in the winery and tasting rooms were opened and we barely had a wait!

The crowd arrived over the next hour and I learned there were only about 200 hundred participants, many of whom were also participating in their first 5k. This was apparent at the start when many of the walkers started front and center. A small hiccup (considering the race only used gun time and not chip time) however with such a small group, it was not that big of a deal.

The course was flat and relatively straight, with one turn, a straight shot down a country road, a u-turn and then one turn back to the finish. A perfect course for a possible PR and I was stoked! When the buzzer went off, I took off with the front of the pack, feeling fabulous!

Less than 3/4 of a mile in, I got a terrible side cramp. I knew these could happen but I had never experienced one like this before. I slowed to a walk and tried to stretch out, even stopping to massage it a bit. It lessened slightly so I picked up my pace a bit, but still kept it pretty slow (I am slowly seeing a need to purchase a GPS watch so I can actually know my pace in real-time). I reached the hydration station at the halfway point and walked through it, slowly sipping the water. And the side cramp went away! Upon evaluating the situation later, I realize I had gone to bed much earlier and woken up much earlier than normal and didn’t hydrate near enough during the 90-minute drive so I was probably under-hydrated as opposed to other races.

I passed my mom slightly after my reaching two mile marker and the two of them passing mile one. My mom shot some fun video footage of the race including me running by. There were no official photographers at the race, so that video and the selfies I took are our official proof of the fun we had!

This was the first race where I actually heard my name called! That was really neat and it was fun to finish on the red carpet. I continued to hydrate after the race and went to the car to grab some HMR muffins before heading back to cheer on my mom and Jene.

When they got near the three mile mark, I took some photos and joined them for a short while. They were having a blast and decided to jog out the last bit to the finish. I scored some great action shots and they finished up at just over 58 minutes – beating their goal by over a minute!!!

The official times were being broadcast on giant screens and so I went to check out how I finished up. I knew I still managed to pull a sub-30 but didn’t know if it was a new PR. Turns out it was by just a few seconds! And I placed 25th overall at the race which was a huge deal to me. In fact had I been in the 20-29 age group instead of the 30-39, I would have placed second in age group (I think I was 11th in mine – so many fast women in the 30-39 age group!). So despite the cramp, I feel like I have been making progress.

Overall, this was a fabulous experience for all three of us. I think both Jene and my mom were inspired by their PR and the possibility of shaving off time in future 5ks and I learned an important lesson about hydration. If I could PR after a cramp like that, I can only imagine what I could do if I properly prepared!

This race WILL be on my calendar next year. Super supportive volunteers, great course layout, killer swag, and amazing weather. I couldn’t ask for a better 5k!


San Jose Giants 5k “Giant Race” Recap


I have enjoyed reading so many race reviews/recaps that I thought it might be cool to start documenting some of my own races. It’s a great way for me to remember my experiences from some of my favorite races!

The San Jose Giants 5k on June 28, 2014 was part of “The Giant Race” series which starts with a race at Spring Training in Arizona in March and will end with a 5k/10k/half marathon in San Francisco in September. I completed the San Francisco Giants Plat to Plate 5k in 2009 and had a blast running with fellow baseball fans so I knew I needed to do this race again. Then I learned if I ran in San Jose as well, I could earn special ear buds and another race was registered for!

Packet pick-up on Friday night was incredibly easy. I got my bib, shirt, and included ticket to the game on Saturday night after the race. I had picked up a couple of extra tickets for $5 a piece for my husband and parents. I was also talked into buying two special Bondi Band headbands with an adjustable strap in the back. I told the guy at the table that headbands always fall off my head and he told me if it fell off during the race he would give me back my money. I’m always up for a challenge! (Spoiler: It stayed on for the WHOLE RACE and didn’t even slip!)


Awww I wanted to be in Buster’s group! Gotta get faster!

I woke up with anticipation and rushed to get ready on race morning. While I had completed several races prior, this was my first officially timed 5k since starting my HMR weight loss journey and I was both excited and scared about how I would fare.

Parking was super easy (probably because I got there over an hour before the start!) and so I used the time to warm up and make multiple trips to the porta potties (I was nervous!). Then I checked out the starting line which was set up with three self-monitored pacing areas.


Running with Romo!

I knew I didn’t belong in the Sub-8 area although I do love Mr. Posey! Someone might have wanted to be clearer in oral instructions though because many walking Posey fans who were new to 5ks joined this area near the start which did lead to some clogging of the course at the beginning!

I put myself in the Romo Runners group because I knew my easy training runs were between 10 and 11 minutes for the most part and that I planned on picking up the pace. However I stayed to the side just in case I had seeded myself wrong.

Part of my pre-planned race attire was a tutu from Glam Runners. I was inspired by the causes they raise money for and although I felt silly putting it on, it also felt kind of cool. Not to mention the orange and black just scream Giants Pride! I got lots of compliments along the course and also motivated another runner as I heard the comment right behind me “gotta beat the tutu” (they didn’t but hey if it keeps you moving!).

The course itself was great – we went around the neighborhood near the ballpark as well as through part of Happy Hollow park. The 5-miler got to explore more of the park – maybe I will try that one next year? I had never been in Happy Hollow and it was a bit difficult with some cobblestone and grass running in addition to the paved path but the coverage of the trees was a welcome break from the sun!

I was aiming to finish in under 35 minutes which allowed me to fade. I was secretly hoping to break 32 minutes which my trainer told me I could manage but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. After the first mile pace time was announced in my ear (using the MapMyFitness app), I thought I had gone out too fast! The voice said my first mile was completed in 8:54! So I forced myself to slow down – worried I would burn out before I finished. I slowed to what I thought was my normal training pace but at mile two the voice said I had completed a 9:34 mile. I did some quick math and realized if I picked it back up, I could potentially break the magical 30 minute barrier that I thought was impossible.

The race ended on the baseball field which was incredibly cool. As I finished a 9:20 third mile, I realized I would be cutting it close. It was difficult to re-motivate my legs which had enjoyed slowing down but I pushed hard during that last tenth of a mile. As I rounded the outside of the park, I pumped my legs, racing through the parking lot and onto the field. Forgetting about the difference between chip and gun time, all I saw was the clock counting down at the finish and knowing I had less than 20 seconds to make it over that finish line to get an under 30 finish. That last stretch was an 8:52 pace and I did it!

The gun time was 29:52 but the actual chip time was 29:23 which was than I ever imagined I could complete a race. Some people may dismiss my 9:18/9:28 average pace (per GPS/per race results – pace changed based .07 mile difference extra distance dodging walkers) however I am still, weeks later, fully acknowledging how far I have come. And knowing I slowed down in mile two gives me extra motivation in upcoming 5ks to see how much more speed I can bring!

I am definitely doing this race again next year. Even if I can’t pose with the WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHIES again, it was a fabulous local race capped off with an evening of baseball and family time. Can’t ask for a better day!


All decked out in Orange & Black at the starting line!

A review of the HMR Diet: Six Months Decision Free and #HMRStrong

If someone had told me seven months ago that I would be eating prepackaged entress and shake packets as my sole form of food, I would have laughed you out of the room.

If someone had told me seven months ago that I would be running a sub-10:00 mile and swimming a mile, I would have looked at you like it was a pipe dream. “Someday… maybe….” But my heart would ache because I would doubt that I had the ability to ever pull it out.

If someone had told me seven months ago that I would be down almost 90 lbs after six months, I would have asked what limbs would I be losing in the process.

I was recently asked why I decided to take a drastic move in my life starting HMR and all of my physical training. Why now? What prompted this move?

If you have known me for years then you will know that I have had a series of struggles with my health. I gained a significant amount of weight right out of high school. I continued to put on weight when I started teaching and commuting 90+ minutes each way to work. I then lost some of that weight in 2006 counting points but some significant events in my life brought back the stress eating and the pounds. I attempted to learn to run in 2009 and lost a bit of weight but improper training and an injury uncovered bigger health issues. All the while I half-assed various diets in an attempt to both control my health but also my weight. Finally, I gave up on all of it and just “enjoyed life” while the pounds piled on.

This past summer we took a cross-country road trip. And roadside hikes that should have been easy were extremely difficult. We went to Hawaii and I felt limited in everything I attempted. I was constantly out of air. I got tired easily. I didn’t find physical activity pleasurable because I wasn’t fit and was carrying so much extra weight. Multiple people in my life passed away in the months leading up to my starting HMR and many were due to weight related health issues. I had trouble sleeping at night worrying that every ache and pain was a sign I was next.

A friend had recently gotten weight loss surgery and I was seriously contemplating it after hearing about her experience. However I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it until the summer at the earliest and we were just a couple months into the school year. So I went to my medical group’s Web site and looked at what programs they were offering to help. I saw orientations for HMR and thought “well it couldn’t hurt to check it out?”

At the time I was opposed to processed food. I wanted to lose weight on my own. I wanted to do it naturally. I was judgey-mcjudergerson about everything I thought HMR stood for. I thought “well even if I lose any weight I won’t learn how to keep it off and it will come right back on.” I had tried Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem so I was *obviously* an expert about meal replacement diets… Ha!

However I forced myself to enter the medical offices with an open mind. After all, I had kind of sucked at doing it on my own. Despite years of weight loss meetings and web sites and books and talks, I was at my heaviest weight ever. I ate more veggies than most people I knew but along with that ate and drank super high calorie foods and considered 20 minutes on the elliptical as an intense workout. In other words, I knew I needed help and I wasn’t afraid to ask for it.

At that orientation meeting, I began to understand that the HMR Diet would be a major overhaul to my social lifestyle. No alcohol? No outside foods? A WEEKLY meeting? I work over 80 hours some weeks… where was I going to fit all of this in?

But something inside of me said that I could do it. That my life depended on it.

So I drove straight from the orientation to speak to my doctor. She said I should try it. She had been an HMR doctor at a previous practice. She thought it would be harder than surgery but it would be good to do it, even as a precursor to surgery, to learn healthier habits. And so I went in for all the lab work.

As a high school student, I didn’t follow good study habits. However as a high school teacher I have learned a few things about setting myself up for success. And so I spent the couple of weeks between orientation and the first night of class preparing my environment, talking to those closest to me, and mentally preparing myself. Confession: I also had a number of “last meals” where I ate whatever I wanted and committed those tastes and textures to memory. I will write more about preparing to begin in a future post but the process itself really set me up for a successful journey.

I have social anxiety. I get nervous in new situations and meeting new people. But luckily I have an amazing health educator, a fabulous clinic full of super positive staff, and a class that had some really nice and positive people in it to provide a safe and supportive environment. The clinic is my safe haven. The first couple months I would show up an hour early sometimes to protect myself from wandering off to a drive-thru because I didn’t know how to spend that hour. I cannot stress how that support helped me get through some tough time. When I felt judgement from others for taking on this diet, I knew I had a judgement free zone.

Judgement is a big thing on this diet. Because you isolate yourself from outside foods, people feel like they can make all sorts of snide and snarky comments to you. I am not open about being on this diet, both because I don’t want my diet to define me, but also because I want to spare myself the nasty comments. If someone asks and seems interested, I will tell them about it. But unlike previous diets where I would declare to everyone what I was doing, I started this one quietly and have remained relatively quiet about it. However through my health classes I have learned how to empower myself and to deal with some of the comments. I know I will have more to face along the journey, but I am building a toolbox of responses.

Cost is the other big hang up for many people on this diet. Yes, the medical tests and supervision is pricey and yes the shakes and entrees cost money. The gym, training sessions, new clothes all cost money as well. You know what else costs money? All the bad food I was eating. All the medical bills I paid. All the unproductive hours where I couldn’t focus and didn’t get things done that needed to be finished. And losing my life day by day to my obesity was the most expensive part of my life. So yes I have depleted some of my savings but I also know I am saving money in the long run. I also know that the improved quality of life is worth the investment. And honestly, I just cut out a bunch of crap I had been wasting it on. Even at happy hour prices those beer and french fry orders add up!

Over the last six months I have been on the road more than half the weekends. I have attended galas and other social events. I have run multiple races. Attended family events. Tried a variety of fitness opportunities. Struggled through exhaustion and stress. Celebrated life and mourned loss. In other words, I have lived. And I have lived “in the box.”

I will be honest. It has not always been easy. And it is getting harder. Because as I see results and feel stronger, I question why I am still in the box. I miss outside food. I feel like I can take a cheat meal… But I won’t. As long as I stay in the box, I am working towards my final goal. This time is truly different and I don’t want to give myself an excuse to halt the journey before I finish it.

I am on a lifelong journey of living the best possible life I can. I believe in myself and my inner strength. And while life happens, I am building skills to pursue health and happiness in spite of life obstacles. It takes dedication and a sense of purpose. But it also takes faith in whatever diet program you choose to pursue. The HMR Diet does work, if you put in the work. I am #HMRStrong.

Compliments and the Weight Loss Journey

Weight loss is an incredibly difficult journey. Limiting food. Working out. Avoiding temptations in the Gap. It is a daily struggle regardless of what diet you are on. And at some point, you have that moment where you wonder if it is even worth continuing the struggle.

Enter the compliment.

Starting about 6 weeks into the start of the HMR program, I began to have people notice that I looked different. And at three months, people didn’t hold back their observations.

“Wow you look great!”

“What have you been doing?”

“You are disappearing!”

“Be honest, how many pounds have you lost?”

I have been wanting to write this post for awhile and the topic just keeps growing. I could probably write a book at this point. But I wanted to limit it today to look at some of the positive and negative effects of receiving compliments along the weight loss journey.

There are negatives?

Quite a bit actually. I have been struggling for months holding back responses to some of the compliments I have received both because I struggle to accept praise but also because some are just thoughtless. For example, a coworker who you aren’t close to walks up and says “Wow! How much weight have you lost this week?” It catches you off-guard. It defines your interaction by asking for a number. It treats you not as a person worthy of talking to but rather a “let’s get to the point, you look better and I want to know how much better you look now by placing a number on it.”

Asking someone who has lost weight “how much” is asking them to quantify a struggle into something we are told shouldn’t be our driving force. Week after week I get on a scale and sometimes I get a big decrease numerically and some weeks it’s barely a blip. Asking me in a week where I worked out hours every day, followed the diet to the letter, and the scale doesn’t respond is absolutely discouraging. Because you stole my other accomplishments away from me. I felt like a rockstar, and now I *only* lost a pound.

Additionally, why am I now getting your attention? The number of “good for you” type compliments I have gotten have gotten to the point where I asked my husband outright “do they know how condescending they sound?” He explained that most people don’t know what to say, and many aren’t able to take on the challenge themselves. They think it’s complimentary but the compliments come out sounding backhanded like I am a good puppy who is following orders and it’s about damn time I took care of myself. Because all of those previous times I struggled and was less successful weren’t worthy of the acknowledgement but this time I deserve praise. “Good for you girl. Sit. Drink a shake.”

It’s hard for people to respond to big changes involving sensitive subjects like weight loss. I completely understand. And in many instances, compliments are big motivators! But don’t come up and pinch me and tell me how skinny I am getting (yup that’s happened) and stop trying to quantify my accomplishments. I will tell you my personal number if I feel like we are in a place where I can share.

This weekend was a tipping point for me with regards to compliments. I am at an event where I am seeing people who I haven’t seen for a couple of months or more. So I spent the week mentally preparing for reaction. I got my hair done as a reward for hitting 75 pounds (to be more specific, that’s 76 pounds lost since November 13), I brought some of my new clothes that I feel comfortable in, and I mentally talked myself through how to accept compliments, no matter what form, with grace.

This weekend is also a struggle because of the delicious foods and lack of time for physical activity. Tournaments are like that. Super intense. Lots of responsibility. Constantly on the go. And they keep you going by fueling with high calorie tempting goodness.

A positive of the compliments is that it keeps me motivated to stay on plan. In the past, when I started getting compliments, I would get complacent. I would slack on “the diet” because I was “looking good” so it didn’t matter anymore. However on HMR it’s different. Still on the Decision Free diet, I would have to completely derail and go out of “the box” to slack. And knowing how far I have come and how far I have to go, I don’t want to slack. So reframing the compliments as motivation to continue has helped me stay in the box and avoid temptation. As I learn to accept the positive motivation behind the compliments and ignore the pinching and quantification, I can channel the encouragement behind the comments and use that positive energy.

I am #HMRStrong and I can do this. I appreciate your compliments but I also know that success doesn’t rest on your feedback. It requires my internal motivation. But I accept your positive energy and I will continue to learn to reframe those who may mean well but may lack an understanding of my struggle.

“Thank you. I have been working hard. I am healthier.”

100 Days on the HMR Diet

I keep wanting to write posts but as per usual, I can barely keep my head above water during the competition season. And I have been taking all my spare time and spending it earning PA (HMR Speak for exercise or Physical Activity calories).

However Friday, February 21, marked a special day. I have been on the HMR Decision-Free diet and “In The Box” for 100 days straight. I feel like being able to stick with anything for 100 days is gosh darn near impossible and worth a mini-celebration and reflection.

First, the question you want answered if you are anything like I was before this diet… How much weight have I lost?

When I weighed in on the first night, I was 280 pounds. My height is approximately 5’4″ which would be a BMI of 48.1, which according to the calculator on the Stanford Hospital site made me “morbidly obese.”

Fourteen weeks later (or 98 days), my weight at the clinic was 220 pounds. While my BMI is still an unhealthy 37.8, it dropped me down to the “obese” category and is a loss of 60 pounds (an average of just over 4 pounds a week).

So I lost weight. Which is ultimately expected when you don’t veer off a medically-supervised diet. But what else?

I feel so much better about myself. I feel like I can do anything I set out to do, including lose the rest of this weight. I have more energy and actually crave physical activity (really? did I just write that?).

After 100 days, the selection of 14 or so entrees, oatmeal, soup, and shakes may seem old. Yes, if I have to eat another cold five-bean casserole at a competition soon I may throw it at someone. However for the most part, I have been enjoying trying new seasonings and preparation methods as well as rediscovering some of my favorites from the first couple of weeks.

Also, and this is so foreign to me, life isn’t always about food. Lately I have been primarily focused on food as fuel to get me through the new activities I am discovering. I don’t revolve my life around what my next meal will be, I just eat when it’s the appropriate time before or after a workout or when I am hungry. And I am learning a ton about what size meal I actually need to stay full as opposed to what I used to pile and clean off my massive plates.

I still have a long journey ahead and I know there will be bumps along the way. However after 100 days, I feel like I am over the mental hurdle of “can I do this?” and have moved on to “what else can I achieve?” And that may be the best takeaway from these past 100 days.

All or Nothing

I am not a perfectionist but I am repelled by the idea of doing something half-assed. If you are going to do it, do it right and give it everything you have. Otherwise what’s the point?

Physical activity (PA) is an important component in any healthy lifestyle a and especially one focused on weight loss. And when people talk about starting an exercise regime they say to start small and to count the little things.

I hate listening to those people. I know walking for ten minutes is better than not walking. But guess what, increasing your speed and elevation and time does? It burns even more calories. It accomplishes more. It’s giving yourself fully to the commitment.

My HMR educator has been fighting me on this concept. Pushing me to realize that some days you need to go in slow short spurts of activity. You need to anticipate injury recovery or hard days. And my rational debate coach brain acknowledges his arguments, applies them to “other people,” and even reflects on my own injuries that seriously derailed my physical activity several times during my life. He is right.

But a large part of my psyche refuses to apply his logic to my own actions. Ten minutes of walking does not add up to very many calories and so I don’t write it down. Again.

I am not sure why I fight this so hard but maybe within that battle lies a happy medium. Count the smaller activities on those hard days but when I am able to do more do it. It doesn’t have to be all in or nothing. It can be somewhere in between.

Just Show Up

Just show up.

I have read so many fitness “get slim in six easy moves” “lose 5 lbs in 3 days” “the secret food that will make you skinny” diet secret containing magazines that I should be invisible by now because I am oh so thin.

But wait. Apparently reading about getting thin, about shedding those unwanted pounds, is not the way to actually lose the weight.

Somewhere between the pages of those glossy fitness model pages, I lost my minutes.

I lost the time that I could find… to get thin.

And while inspired by the pages,

I lack the motivation to do the movement.

And time and time again I pledge that TOMORROW, I will go to the gym.

You see,

I am too tired.

I have too much work today.

The house is in shambles.

Someone might spoil that TV show that’s on tonight.

I just don’t want to go.

So many reasons to go home, curl up on the couch, and zone out…

Imagining the thin within.

Somewhere along the line, I lost my motivation. And my motivation is really good at playing





However… through all I have learned about myself. About how I function. And about how we work. I have one thing to say.


Pack that bag with the clothing you will need and go to the gym. Just go. Get dressed. Sit there. Drink a latte. You don’t have to exercise.

But if you are like me, you will find yourself on that elliptical, or in that aerobics class, or lifting weights… or on a bad day maybe you will just walk at the slowest speed possible on the treadmill.

You will find your movement. Your motivation.

I am a debate coach. I can convince myself to do just about anything. But something the only thing I can really do is show up.

Being present is motivation to move.

Movement is power.

Power gets you through the day.

And tomorrow?

Maybe you will do more than just show up.



I am very good at losing weight. I have lost probably over two hundred pounds in my lifetime. Perhaps even more.

So I should be incredibly skinny right? Practically see-through?

And yet I am near my highest weight ever. Having put on most of the 5% I was so motivated to lose over the last couple months.

Losing weight is a long process. It’s one that has to happen slowly as habits are formed and the body and mind work together to find the healthier self. To develop a new fitter being.

My mind and body don’t like each other. They are like the Hollywood couple that everyone thinks should be together, who make and sell movies together, but self-destruct when the cameras aren’t around. Sure they get along in the short term, but only so they can say their marriage lasted longer than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

I self-sabotage. No matter if it’s Weight Watcher points, calories, food lists, prepped meals, meal-blogging etc… I can last for a short while and have amazing results. But then something inside of me clicks off. I make poor food choices, stop meal planning, go for the easy, tasty caloriebombs, I go out with friends and don’t choose the healthier option. I intentionally, whether I know it is intentional, pack those pounds right back on.

I can blame my job. Most of my friends console my weight gain by proclaiming “I don’t know how you do it… If I did your job I would weigh so much more than you do!” Thanks? But some of my best losses come from those months where I don’t come up for air. It’s like having a weekend off from work is also a weekend to eat and drink whatever is in front of me.

So I can’t blame my job.

In reality, I don’t know why I give up. It’s not an all or nothing world. And it isn’t like I tell myself that if I screw up for one meal, I have screwed up the week. I don’t say “fuck it” and eat crap and I even attempt to balance the crap with the good.

Maybe my metabolism is shot to hell. Maybe one bad meal is all it takes to pack on the weight again?

That’s obviously not true. Even if my metabolism was slower than a teenager getting ready for school in the morning, one meal is not going to reverse weeks of hard work. I may not be a doctor, but I know enough to know that isn’t how it works.

I don’t have an excuse. I am just bad at following through when it comes to me. I am a great advocate for my students, my friends, and my family. But when it comes to advocating for myself to myself on what I truly need and not just what feels good at the moment, I fail.

It’s easier to reward myself than to punish. It’s easier to take the route of tasty instead of the route of steamed veggies. It’s easier to socialize or chillax on the couch, rather than get up and stay in motion. It is easier to stay fat and kill myself one calorie-bomb at a time than to recognize that I deserve better and work to give myself what I deserve.

My birthday is just a couple of weeks away. Another year has passed where I pledged to take care of myself and another year has passed where I strived, succeeded, and then thrown that hard work away.

I don’t have a solution to stop the self-sabotage. But maybe finally I have awareness.

Spin – conquering the final gym fear.

In my quest to lose weight and get healthy, I have spent hours at the gym. Mind you, the consistency these days is lacking, but long story short, I know my way around cardio and weight rooms. I have stepped, kicked, stretched through group exercise classes. I have free-weighted, circuit-trained, trekked, ellipticaled, mastered the stairs, and spent more hours with physical trainers than I can count. But there is one area of the gym I have always feared.

Spin class.

No matter the city, the gym, the time of day… spin class has always scared the beejezus out of me. There is something about the way that everyone knows what they are doing with these machines that have knobs and levers. They are all so… focused. Full of intent.

Recently, I needed something new. I had rejoined a gym and needed to find something to throw my energy into. I needed accountability. But most of all, I needed a class that worked with my schedule.

So a friend and I both committed to a spin class.

Walking in the very first morning was incredibly scary. I wanted to back out. But I had made a commitment with a friend (and it would only be after the class that I would find out she also wanted to back out).

With the help of an overly perky instructor, I adjusted the bike. I then mounted the bike. And 45 minutes later, I was more than ready to get off that bike.

However, I had discovered something about myself. I had discovered that spin was no scarier than any other part of the gym. That when I faced my fear, I could conquer something new. And, I never thought I would say this, enjoy it.

Spin class offers something that no other part of the gym offers. It allows you to work at your own resistance, your own pace, without anyone knowing what level you are working on. For those of you who self-compare, like I tend to do, you can’t! All you can do it focus on yourself. And that forced focus is what I needed to ensure I was keeping proper form, and not just competing against my peers. The competitor within now could only focus on myself.

I have been going to spin classes on a regular basis now for several months. I am still not a spin guru. I don’t have the magical clip spin shoes. I don’t go on bike rides in the mountains on weekend. But I can spin. The fear has been conquered.



It’s been a long year. A crazy year. A FABULOUS year. 

A lot of amazing things have happened.

However in the process of this amazingness, something has slipped out of sight. And out of sight is out of mind as the old adage goes.

My health hasn’t been the focus for months. I haven’t cooked for myself in ages nor have I logged what I have eaten or made a concerted effort to be active.

However, as life changes and time opens up, it as though someone was reading my mind when a challenge appeared over my Facebook feed. Thanks to Eating Rules for sharing the link to Social Butterfly Guy‘s 28-day Project GET HEALTHY.

Starting tomorrow for the next 28 days, I have three goals:

1. Track my meals daily

2. Get 20 minutes of activity in 6 days a week.

3. Eat more vegetables

I’ll be tracking using MyFitnessPal but will also stop by here, my ignored blog, to share thoughts as I can. With the start of school fast approaching, it will definitely be a challenge. But based on everything that has happened in 2012 thus far, I am ready for it!

Twitter Lesson Learned

One of the lessons I learned this weekend via tweets from another session was that I should set time limits on my social media. So I am giving myself one hour to tweet. During that time I can also play on Facebook. And that’s it! I can divide it up into up to three segments during the day. Today it worked out pretty well, despite the notifications popping up on my phone and in my email. During the tournaments I might let this rule slide but I need to allow myself to unplug from the constant stream of information.

Now to figure out rules to limit television and get me on my feet more! Suggestions?