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Compliments and the Weight Loss Journey

Weight loss is an incredibly difficult journey. Limiting food. Working out. Avoiding temptations in the Gap. It is a daily struggle regardless of what diet you are on. And at some point, you have that moment where you wonder if it is even worth continuing the struggle.

Enter the compliment.

Starting about 6 weeks into the start of the HMR program, I began to have people notice that I looked different. And at three months, people didn’t hold back their observations.

“Wow you look great!”

“What have you been doing?”

“You are disappearing!”

“Be honest, how many pounds have you lost?”

I have been wanting to write this post for awhile and the topic just keeps growing. I could probably write a book at this point. But I wanted to limit it today to look at some of the positive and negative effects of receiving compliments along the weight loss journey.

There are negatives?

Quite a bit actually. I have been struggling for months holding back responses to some of the compliments I have received both because I struggle to accept praise but also because some are just thoughtless. For example, a coworker who you aren’t close to walks up and says “Wow! How much weight have you lost this week?” It catches you off-guard. It defines your interaction by asking for a number. It treats you not as a person worthy of talking to but rather a “let’s get to the point, you look better and I want to know how much better you look now by placing a number on it.”

Asking someone who has lost weight “how much” is asking them to quantify a struggle into something we are told shouldn’t be our driving force. Week after week I get on a scale and sometimes I get a big decrease numerically and some weeks it’s barely a blip. Asking me in a week where I worked out hours every day, followed the diet to the letter, and the scale doesn’t respond is absolutely discouraging. Because you stole my other accomplishments away from me. I felt like a rockstar, and now I *only* lost a pound.

Additionally, why am I now getting your attention? The number of “good for you” type compliments I have gotten have gotten to the point where I asked my husband outright “do they know how condescending they sound?” He explained that most people don’t know what to say, and many aren’t able to take on the challenge themselves. They think it’s complimentary but the compliments come out sounding backhanded like I am a good puppy who is following orders and it’s about damn time I took care of myself. Because all of those previous times I struggled and was less successful weren’t worthy of the acknowledgement but this time I deserve praise. “Good for you girl. Sit. Drink a shake.”

It’s hard for people to respond to big changes involving sensitive subjects like weight loss. I completely understand. And in many instances, compliments are big motivators! But don’t come up and pinch me and tell me how skinny I am getting (yup that’s happened) and stop trying to quantify my accomplishments. I will tell you my personal number if I feel like we are in a place where I can share.

This weekend was a tipping point for me with regards to compliments. I am at an event where I am seeing people who I haven’t seen for a couple of months or more. So I spent the week mentally preparing for reaction. I got my hair done as a reward for hitting 75 pounds (to be more specific, that’s 76 pounds lost since November 13), I brought some of my new clothes that I feel comfortable in, and I mentally talked myself through how to accept compliments, no matter what form, with grace.

This weekend is also a struggle because of the delicious foods and lack of time for physical activity. Tournaments are like that. Super intense. Lots of responsibility. Constantly on the go. And they keep you going by fueling with high calorie tempting goodness.

A positive of the compliments is that it keeps me motivated to stay on plan. In the past, when I started getting compliments, I would get complacent. I would slack on “the diet” because I was “looking good” so it didn’t matter anymore. However on HMR it’s different. Still on the Decision Free diet, I would have to completely derail and go out of “the box” to slack. And knowing how far I have come and how far I have to go, I don’t want to slack. So reframing the compliments as motivation to continue has helped me stay in the box and avoid temptation. As I learn to accept the positive motivation behind the compliments and ignore the pinching and quantification, I can channel the encouragement behind the comments and use that positive energy.

I am #HMRStrong and I can do this. I appreciate your compliments but I also know that success doesn’t rest on your feedback. It requires my internal motivation. But I accept your positive energy and I will continue to learn to reframe those who may mean well but may lack an understanding of my struggle.

“Thank you. I have been working hard. I am healthier.”

Posted by  |  April 13, 2014 | Categories: Fitness, Health, HMR Diet, Life, Musings, Observations & Oddities | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Savory HMR Mustard Chicken

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Walking through Whole Foods today I was hit by a delicious smell. Suddenly I wanted whatever that delicious smell was. However, now that I am on the HMR Decision Free diet, that wasn’t an option. So instead I decided to dissect the smells and see if I could make an “In the Box” option.

I have no idea what the actual dish I smelled was but the underlying scents were vinegar and mustard. Thus, this dish was born!

Warning: if you don’t like vinegar or mustard, this probably isn’t your cup of tea.

Mustard Chicken and Rice

HMR Savory Chicken Entree
1 tbsp German mustard (or your favorite spicy mustard that meets HMR guidelines)
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1/2 tbsp capers, drained
1/8 tsp smoked paprika
1/8 tsp smoked salt
1/8 tsp ground pepper
1/8 tsp flake salt

Heat savory chicken in microwave.

Whisk all other ingredients together.

Plate entree with rice on the bottom of the bowl topped with the mushrooms and carrots and finally the chicken. Pour sauce over chicken and enjoy.

Posted by  |  April 9, 2014 | Categories: Food, HMR Diet | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Thai Steak & Potatoes – HMR Style!

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One of the women in my HMR classes have been making a version of this for months (you can find her version here) and I have been using her recipe as a base to create my own version. I make the sauce in single servings ahead of time and keep them in the fridge. You can toss an entree in the microwave and then add the sauce but if I have the time and patience, I like to throw the entree in a saucepan and cook it low and slow with the sauce for a deeper flavor.

I make this with the HMR Steak & Potatoes entree but I bet it would be good with a few others!

HMR Decision Free Thai Peanut Sauce

1 tbsp PB2

1 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce

1 tbsp rice vinegar

1 tsp powdered garlic

1/2 tsp powdered ginger

1/4 tsp imitation coconut extract

Whisk together and let sit for the flavors to meld.

Posted by  |  April 6, 2014 | Categories: Food, HMR Diet | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

HMR Mocha: On the Go and In the Box!

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If you haven’t read my blog before, you may be unaware that I am always on the go. Which means I don’t always have the luxury to make shakes in the comfort of my kitchen.

That said, I love fancy coffees and giving up those special treats was difficult. Luckily, with the help of my travel milk frother, I have been coming up with some on-the-go specialties!

This one is the easiest and is a favorite staple in my current rotation. Order a medium black coffee in a large coffee cup (in Sbux speak that’s a grande in an venti cup!). That gives you room to add an HMR chocolate shake packet and optional sweetener (none for me). Then froth that baby up! The travel milk frother breaks down the shake powder and blends inside the coffee cup while adding a light froth on top. Enjoy!

Posted by  |  April 5, 2014 | Categories: Food, HMR Diet, Travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Losing *only* two pounds … A 19-week reflection on the HMR Diet

Last night was my 133rd day staying “in the box” on the HMR Decision Free diet.

On my first night of class, my health educator showed us a graph. It showed data that the longer a person stayed “in the box” (eating only HMR food), the higher the likelihood they would stick with the program and the average amount of weight lost. The data included everything from the probability of success if you “cheated” the first week all the way up to 19 weeks.

So I bought a small white board and decorated it with permanent marker after calculating how many days were in 19 weeks. I then used a white board marker to update the number of the board. And then I set that board where I would see it every time I entered the kitchen. I also kept some helpful tools within reach, as you can see in the photo.

HMR Diet "In The Box" Board

 

The first few weeks, it was struggle each day to stay in the box. But knowing I would have to reset that number was motivation to keep going. And changing the board felt like a triumphant win!

Eventually, I stopped updating each day and would change it every couple of days. However on a difficult day, the visual was a good reminder of how far I have come and how I didn’t want to reset the board after so much work.

Today is my 134th day on the diet. I still plan on keeping the board alive, but I am in the process of setting new goals. Goals to keep me going.

Because I can’t rely on the scale for motivation.

When I get on the scale at the clinic, I try to imagine what the new number will be. In the beginning there were huge jumps most weeks. Some were two or three pounds but many were four to six. And I knew logically that it would slow down as I had less to lose and my body adjusted to a lower-calorie diet.

The last three weeks I have lost one pound, four pounds, and then two pounds. In the real world, losing seven pounds in three weeks is a big deal. And I know I would have been so happy on previous diets with that loss. Yet last night, with a two pound loss on the scale, I felt disappointment.

Practical me knows that this process is going to be an ultra-marathon. That it’s a lifestyle change. That it won’t happen over night. And that I have works for 19 weeks but I knew going in that it would be a much longer process. Finally, I know that I have gotten stronger and have had so many non-scale victories that I should dance with joy.

Today I begin the process of setting new long-term non-scale goals. From fitness goals I am currently working on, to food based goals I need to figure out. I am determined to succeed one day at a time.

Posted by  |  March 27, 2014 | Categories: Food, Health, HMR Diet, Life, Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Traveling on the HMR Diet

I have been on the HMR Decision Free Diet for almost 16 full weeks. During those 16 weeks, I have flown away for weekend work (and one personal trip) for 8 weekends and spent another 4 weekends at regional competitions. With 12 weekends away from the comfort and safety of my home environment, I have quickly learned some skills for traveling on the HMR DF Diet and I am looking forward to sharing some of them now!

First, let’s dispel some rumors. I have carried entrees and shakes through airport security every trip and have never been stopped. However, I would always recommend carrying some documentation of your medically supervised diet just in case you get a TSA agent with his britches in a bunch claiming HMR chili is a liquid.

Second, the majority of hotels I have encountered have been amenable to placing a mini-fridge and in most cases a microwave in my hotel room free of charge provided I show the medical necessity (same documentation). Many never needed to see it, I just needed to ask and explain.

Third, if you haven’t already figured it out, many of the entrees can be eaten cold. I will be honest… I am NOT a fan of most of them at room temperature. My stand-by is Five Bean Casserole (add a packet of salt and a packet of pepper and maybe a squeeze of mustard from an airport food court and you’re golden). I will also do the chicken parm and the ravioli and the lasagna. It’s up to personal preference.

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Two great on-the-go shaker bottles… liquid included!

When I am checking a bag for a longer trip, I like to travel light with the carry-on. This means packing as compactly as possible. First, I fold up two of the 800 packets and one 70 packet into my standard Blender Bottle along with a plastic spoon. This prevents the wire ball from bouncing around, saves space, and gives me an easy pudding and two shakes!

I also pack at least one Mio or Crystal Light squeeze bottle for easy to-go flavoring in my liquids bag. Great for making shakes different flavors and perfect to add to a club soda on a plane for a “fancy” drink!

However, I hate cleaning when traveling and thus when I get through airport security, I am often on the hunt for one of the stand-by beverages pictured above. It makes a perfect disposable shake container. Just swirl your shake powder before shaking or the powder may all end up in the lid!

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This was my HMR meal at the San Diego Zoo. Just drink half the bottle, add shake mix, swirl and shake to your desired consistency! Mmmmm Chocolate Lemon Goodness!

I am also a big fan of mixing up the flavors of my entrees and having other savory options available to me is a big way I have managed to stay “In the Box” while “On the Road.” I always have a couple of bouillon cubes in a snack bag (to keep the smell contained) as well as a couple of tea bags for on-the-go hot beverage choices. I also carry a travel milk frother (mine has a cute carrying case!) which I use to whisk hot liquids for soup and hot chocolate shakes.

Additionally, I carry a menagerie of seasonings in a travel pill case (pictured below) which I place in a sandwich bag (because I am paranoid about spills but haven’t had one yet!). You can put all of your favorites in here! These are just some of my standards.

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Turn your pill case into a travel condiment container!

Another way to make travel easier and make you feel included when others are eating carby goodness, is to make some HMR muffins (I make these without the frosting) ahead of time. I don’t do this often because I want to avoid over-relying on low-volume foods. However I have found packing these can save me in a pinch when everyone else is noshing on trigger foods plus these don’t require preparation. This is one I save for super high stress weekends (I also make these using a mini-donut pan that fits in my toaster oven which makes them smaller – I get more and they are easier to pack!).

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Make muffins ahead of time for packable meals.

Traveling can be difficult on the HMR diet, or any diet, because of the temptations that lie in the Gap and all of the fabulous looking foods that abound. It is much harder to control your environment and at some point in the future I will talk more about how I prepare mentally for travel. However in the meantime, I hope these travel tips are helpful for those who have travel in their future!

Posted by  |  March 4, 2014 | Categories: Food, Health, HMR Diet, Travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

100 Days on the HMR Diet

I keep wanting to write posts but as per usual, I can barely keep my head above water during the competition season. And I have been taking all my spare time and spending it earning PA (HMR Speak for exercise or Physical Activity calories).

However Friday, February 21, marked a special day. I have been on the HMR Decision-Free diet and “In The Box” for 100 days straight. I feel like being able to stick with anything for 100 days is gosh darn near impossible and worth a mini-celebration and reflection.

First, the question you want answered if you are anything like I was before this diet… How much weight have I lost?

When I weighed in on the first night, I was 280 pounds. My height is approximately 5’4″ which would be a BMI of 48.1, which according to the calculator on the Stanford Hospital site made me “morbidly obese.”

Fourteen weeks later (or 98 days), my weight at the clinic was 220 pounds. While my BMI is still an unhealthy 37.8, it dropped me down to the “obese” category and is a loss of 60 pounds (an average of just over 4 pounds a week).

So I lost weight. Which is ultimately expected when you don’t veer off a medically-supervised diet. But what else?

I feel so much better about myself. I feel like I can do anything I set out to do, including lose the rest of this weight. I have more energy and actually crave physical activity (really? did I just write that?).

After 100 days, the selection of 14 or so entrees, oatmeal, soup, and shakes may seem old. Yes, if I have to eat another cold five-bean casserole at a competition soon I may throw it at someone. However for the most part, I have been enjoying trying new seasonings and preparation methods as well as rediscovering some of my favorites from the first couple of weeks.

Also, and this is so foreign to me, life isn’t always about food. Lately I have been primarily focused on food as fuel to get me through the new activities I am discovering. I don’t revolve my life around what my next meal will be, I just eat when it’s the appropriate time before or after a workout or when I am hungry. And I am learning a ton about what size meal I actually need to stay full as opposed to what I used to pile and clean off my massive plates.

I still have a long journey ahead and I know there will be bumps along the way. However after 100 days, I feel like I am over the mental hurdle of “can I do this?” and have moved on to “what else can I achieve?” And that may be the best takeaway from these past 100 days.

Posted by  |  February 24, 2014 | Categories: Fitness, Food, Health, HMR Diet, Musings | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

HMR Diet “Chips & Dip” Recipe

I have been missing snacks foods, especially chips & dip. While this isn’t an exact replica, it totally gets the job done!

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Ingredients

HMR Enchilada Entree
Flakey Salt
Hot Sauce

Lay a silpat mat on a toaster over cookie sheet. I find this is much easier to clean than other methods.

Clean the enchilada “tortillas” from the sauce and filling, reserve those for the dip. Be careful when unraveling the enchiladas as the tortillas tend to break along where they’ve been folded.

Lay tortillas on silpat and sprinkle lightly with sea salt (optional).

Bake at 325 in toaster oven for approximately 30 minutes, turning over halfway through. The chips will not get fully crispy before they start to brown. They will harden a bit more after removing from oven so don’t let them burn waiting for them to get crispy in the oven.

When removed, use pizza cutter to cut “chips” into smaller pieces. They may harden more while resting.

Meanwhile, mix enchilada sauce and filling with hot sauce (heat varies by user). Heat for 30-45 seconds in microwave.

Some of my chips have not been strong enough to scoop but then I just spoon dip onto them to enjoy.

It’s definitely a different way to enjoy this entree and a great meal to have when hanging around with friends watching a sports game or a movie. Enjoy!

Posted by  |  February 24, 2014 | Categories: Food, HMR Diet | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

My HMR entree “fix”

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I have been in a delicious rut and it’s not going anywhere any time soon.

Savory chicken entrees are some of the most versatile of the HMR line and let me share my recent staple fix.

Pan “fry” the rice in a nonstick pan. I spritz the rice “cake” with two spritzes of Bragg Liquid Aminos to flavor it but sometimes do it plain. Often I can “cut” the cake like pictures into three but often it just ends up a delicious mess of rice.

Chop up the chicken tenders and pan “fry” until brown and then drizzle Frank’s Red Hot Wings Sauce (the one that’s zero calories – thank me later).

Finally, pan “fry” the veggies with a dash of low sodium soy sauce and a very light sprinkle of Chinese five spice.

Seriously the best fix ever!

Posted by  |  February 6, 2014 | Categories: Food, HMR Diet | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Juggling Jealousy – Dealing with those who can’t deal

“I need to eat now. I’m starving and all I have had is a coffee and banana today,” she said.

“Let’s wait until we get back to the hotel and have our picnic & chill by the pool time as planned,” I responded.

“I haven’t gotten to eat recently. I’m starving. You wouldn’t understand because you ate one of your meal things and had a shake,” she snapped back. “I want pizza now!”

“Your fancy coffee and banana had more calories than everything I consumed today. I know you are hungry, as am I, but the pizza will take awhile to make, time we could have spent getting back to the hotel so let’s all be happy and have what we planned.” I replied, my nerves near breaking point.

Everyone has at least one. The friend who can’t handle their own appetite and food choices and thus probably also can’t handle when you are finally in control of your health. Whether it’s ignorance or jealousy that inspires their actions, one may never know. However on my ninth week of the HMR Diet, I have been tested to extreme levels. And now I let it all out in hopes it helps someone else relate.

“I’m on a special diet. I’m gluten-free,” she tells the waiter. Then asks him twenty questions. Then once he leaves proceeds to tell me everything I already knew.

“I know. I have known you for many years. I have lived with people who have an even stricter allergy. I understand,” I assure her.

I do understand. And having had serious food reactions over the years, I can relate to the anxiety when ordering. However, once you explain you understand and you sympathize, you expect this will be the end of the conversation. Yet for her it continues. It manifests her every conversation. Did you know she couldn’t have gluten? Did you know other people don’t know what gluten is? 

I wonder if I was like this. If I annoyed people to no end talking about my food allergies and intolerances? I would hope it didn’t consume my life the way it had obviously consumed hers. 

Now that I am on HMR, I don’t talk about my food unless asked. I realize that there isn’t a reason to remind people I can’t have what they are having. I don’t need to make someone else feel guilty for the choices I am making to be healthy. What others choose to eat should not make me angry at the world. And I recognize that for her, it does. She is angry. She wants people to know she is special. She needs the attention that comes with the special need. And I resent her for it because in the constant nasal whine about her special needs, she has forgotten those who are with her may also have their own struggles.

Rather than assert myself at first, I let her make jokes at my expense:

“You can watch me eat and drool over it all,” she grins.

“I’ll drink and you can watch,” she reminds me.

“I’m so hungry I could eat just about anything on this menu,” she pronounces at lunch. “Too bad you can’t.”

Roles reversed and she would never let her audience hear the end of it. She has special needs and how dare you remind her she can’t have something. However, she sees nothing wrong with taunting me.

Why is it okay for her to do it?

It’s not. And eventually, I can’t take it anymore. In my head I talk openly how cruel it is that people would taunt people with things they cannot have. But in reality, I just use logic to prevail. We don’t end up at a pizza joint this time, however I suspect she will push again. And indeed the next day the passive aggressiveness begins:

“Well I guess pizza is out since someone here can’t handle being around it,” she huffs.

If the crust wasn’t gluten-free, the pot would meet the kettle. Instead I firmly assert myself. Saying that I wouldn’t go, suggesting alternatives to the sweet smelling pizza parlor, and finally suggesting she could go alone and the rest of us could go else where. With an eye roll and heavy sigh, she accepts one of the many alternatives proposed.

I am told by others that her behaviors reek of jealousy. And perhaps they do. She doesn’t have someone to be gluttonous with. To stuff face until our stomaches spill over our shorts. Instead she has someone who is working against those habits. Who is fighting for her own health rather than focusing all of the attention on the special one’s needs.

Her diet may define her. Mine does not define me. Food is not longer my whole life. And while I will continue to defend my needs, I will not defend to the point of it consuming my life. There is so much in the world besides food. And I am determined to experience it.

Posted by  |  January 19, 2014 | Categories: Food, Health, HMR Diet, Life, Musings, Observations & Oddities | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments